The Healing Journey is a series born out of the reality that we all have our own path to healing. When we share our journey two things tend to happen, we often find freedom in sharing our stories and we always inspire others. There is power in speaking up and it is time to tap into that power.
The mission of The Healing Journey is to provide a platform for women to connect, inspire one another and empower each other. Together we will stimulate conversation, create awareness, healing and stand together knowing that each and every one of us are unique, gifted and powerful.
This month’s feature on The Healing Journey is Camila Derisé. Camila is a Holistic Practitioner who lives between her home of Brazil and Canada. Camila’s story is an incredibly powerful one, a journey that takes us from poverty and abuse to self love and healing. I am so very grateful and honoured to have the opportunity to share this healing journey with you all.
For those who don’t know you, what is your story?
Those who don’t know would look at me and never imagine my story. I recall my parents in the same room once. That was when my mom had given me up for my father to take care of me. I came to Toronto when I was 8 years old, with a huge luggage of pain and torture. I was aware of only one thing growing up; I had to survive. The power of prayer saved me from walking in very dark paths. Now, what’s my story? It’s a strong one, one that has transformed, one that shines light into lives, one that believes in sisterhood and brotherhood, one who saw all the horrible things and yet sees beauty and love in the world. One who still dreams of a powerful tomorrow.
When did you become aware of your womb/ womb space?
I became aware of my womb space when I was about 23 years old. I was married at the time and lived in pain. I was deeply depressed and felt as if I was going crazy. I recalled my fathers voice at the time, he would always tell me that I needed to go back home, Brazil, to face my roots. He said Brazil would bring me comfort. I felt as if I had no ground. No strength to move forward. I was afraid of everything, people, situations, I was most afraid of my future. So, I embarked in what was the most important decision of my life going back to my roots where I was uprooted from, were my womb traumas and gifts were, my cure and faith restored.
Would you say you have a relationship with your womb?
Yes, today I would say I have a relationship with my womb, it has been a very difficult relationship to maintain. I have been appreciating my womb space with more quiet time, reflecting, clearing has been the most important. Working as a Holistic Practitioner has given me the tools I needed to work through some of the many lifetime challenges that I have come into this world with.
What was the point where your healing journey began?
My healing journey began when I became more curious about my life purpose, I realized I was going into a space that was filled with illusion, things that I felt would bring me security; relationships, money, having an image of the ‘NORMAL’ life. I had to accept the reality that I was not born into the most favourable situation, that I was not going to fit into the “ Most Common” category. I would have to work though my pain in order for me to see results. It meant letting go of the societal structure and creating a new self identity that didn’t involve other people’s opinion but one that came from the wisdom, that wisdom came from my womb and only I can live that story. No more comparison, no more self-punishment, overachievement, just being, feeling and grounding into the discomfort of my wound.
What experiences have been the catalysts of change for you? How have you changed?
My main catalyst would have to be learning to be content on my own. I would often chase the wrong things, empty relationships, overspending money that I didn’t have on “things’’ often projecting myself to be someone I’m not in order to fit in. All of these things brought me a false identity. I realized that I was most afraid of being me. I didn’t know what that was, until, I faced my family in Brazil. I stored away a very painful secret of my rape as a child. I told my grandfather’s children the truth and that was me taking my power back. I started to feel my strength come slowly back into my life. Many years have passed and the way I view my story today is that I’m no longer that child and I have been able to forgive but not forget.
When I was 6 years old, I met my father’s side of the family for the first time. Moving in I was scared, vulnerable and it was a different experience, I was very poor while living with my mom. I went from having to sleep in a cardboard box and not eating to having a bed, new clothes, food, and attended private school. I was my fathers little girl. During that period from 6 to 8 years old, I lived with his parents while he was working on getting my paperwork for me to move to Canada with him. During that time my grandfather started with offering me candy, making my dolls clothes, taking me on walks, until he started to fondle me, showing me pornos… I was afraid to say anything to my grandmother, but the worse part of it all, she knew all about it but she couldn’t say anything because during those times it would have been his death. So, I suffered having to live through that for those two years. Which marked me for all of my life. I had many relationships, often confusing sex with a relationship, I was terrified of sex, suffered from depression most of my life. Now, I’m a stronger person for it.
How do you allow yourself to feel through experiences? (When a feeling comes up how do you work through it?)
I feel them. I allow them to pass through. If I feel the need to cry I do, if I feel the need to get angry I do, I just don’t give it power, I know that it will pass. A dear sister, who is an amazing guide in my life Nicole Angela, reminded me that I have my inner guide, who is always there to show me the way. That everything that around me is a part of me. I’m a very sensitive person, feeling everything around me doesn’t make me weak, it just means I have empathy. That is a great gift, permitting yourself to feel alongside using tools that you have. Such as; deep breathing, going for a walk in nature, writing, painting, moving the body, anything to accompany you on the journey of letting go. Nature to me is sacred, so I surround my self in it. Being still will get you there.
Are there any healing methods that have helped you on your healing journey?
There is a toolbox full of methods that I have gained through out my years, but one would have to be my spiritual journey through it all. I believe in what most know as GOD, I call this energy or a universal consciousness. Having faith, the power of prayer, which for me meant empowering myself, receiving with energy work, sharing my story with those who wanted to know, a holistic psychotherapist has helped me to work through the deeper issues and in the end I became a holistic therapist, which has given me all the confidence to face my new life. It has its ups and downs, we all create our defences to protect ourselves but I believe in opening up these wounds has been my cure to it all.
You yourself are a healer, how do you balance healing others and healing yourself?
Working in the healing arts, I found myself often tired, angry because I would be helping others and in results I would get sick. I realized that the true art of healing is when you work on yourself first and that you are just a vessel for someone else. Holding space is the only power of compassion that you can offer first to yourself and extending that to those who need it. By empowering someone with holding space you allow their healing empowerment to sprout. Each person is their own healer and when they discover that the power, it starts to spread in their lives and the lives around them. Giving is receiving. I’m always amazed to see when I donate my energy to others, how I always receive.
How would you describe your wombspace? If she could speak, what would she say?
My wombspace today would thank me for giving her attention, it would rejoice with the smallest victories. It would continue to live, dance, risk for a better tomorrow, it would be free from my self critic and self-judgment. It would encourage me to dream without borders and most importantly to love the ugliest part of myself unconditionally. Know that we are all healers and the loving ourselves is the best and the most honest gift we can give others. Always put yourself first the rest is life consequences which will write it self out. Trust in the power of Universe and your spiritual guides. Love is the answer to your emotional and physical transformation. Enjoy your journey!
What is your message for anyone in the midst of or about to enter their healing journey?
The one message that I have to share with those working through their healing journey would have to be, to be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself, you are not going to transform over night, know that the smallest steps you take towards your healing journey is enough to transform the biggest mountain. More doesn’t mean better, faster, quicker results. Remember to avoid comparing yourself with others; it will limit you.
Do you have any messages for anyone reading this post?
For those who will come across this, I would have one simple message that nothing is impossible. You can achieve change at any point in your life. Everyday counts as a new opportunity. Don’t focus on the problem but create new patterns in your daily choices to open a new way of seeing things. You will have better results. Challenge yourself to face your fears, however big or small it may seem. Take the smallest step and it will give you the confidence and the emotional support you will need for your self. Have a toolbox. Study and seek advice from those who can emotionally invest in you. Invest in your spiritual and physical self, whatever that may be.
Take up basic holistic classes such as reiki, meditation, yoga, bodywork, psychotherapy, painting and write your thoughts down without having to edit. These are some of my main tools. Learn about your archetypes, starting with your inner child, most of our main issues are affiliated with the child. Don’t give up when your feel like it will all cave in, remember where you started is not where you will end up.
Camila Derisé, endless gratitude to you for sharing your healing journey. This is a powerful story that will inspire many.
Looking for support in your womb healing journey? Click on over to the Womb Wellness Program. This is a program that requires you to dig deep, to face what is stored in the womb and work with it to heal, release and receive. The program combines integrative health coaching, deep womb work and Reiki to support your healing. Read more…
Not ready for the full program? Check out Womb Wellness 101. A series of workshops that educate and empower women not only to reconnect with their bodies but learn how to heal themselves naturally. Together, we look at simple ways to make changes in our lives that benefit our health and wellness. From what foods promote womb wellness to how to decrease your PMS symptoms, Womb Wellness 101 will encourage you to take a proactive role in your health. See what WW101 is coming next. Read more…
If you are interested in sharing your Healing Journey, please email info(at)clarekenty.ca with “The Healing Journey” in the subject line and include a little about yourself and your story, or fill out the form below and I will contact you. Please be aware that The Healing Journey series is primarily about womb healing and womb wellness.