The Healing Journey is a series born out of the reality that we all have our own path to healing. When we share our journey two things tend to happen, we often find freedom in sharing our stories and we always inspire others. There is power in speaking up and it is time to tap into that power.
The mission of The Healing Journey is to provide a platform for women to connect, inspire one another and empower each other. Together we will stimulate conversation, create awareness, healing and stand together knowing that each and every one of us are unique, gifted and powerful.
I knew this was important and sacred work I was asking women to step into and share but until we’ve done it ourselves we don’t know exactly what we’re asking! I now know and am honoured that the women I’ve featured were so open and willing to share their stories. It’s not easy ripping the walls down, it’s not easy to get up and share pieces of yourself. This time, it’s Clare Kenty’s turn.
For those that have not had the pleasure of browsing my site before, I’m Clare Kenty. I am an Integrative Health Coach, a Reiki Practitioner, an Educator and a cheerleader for my clients. I’ve spent many years on my own healing journey and I am honoured to help others navigate through theirs. Women’s health and womb healing is my soul work. It’s where I find we as women face our deepest secrets and fears and where we find our greatest power.
For those who don’t know you, what’s your story?
I am a health coach but becoming one was more about my own healing journey than anything else. I think I’m so passionate about what I do because of the evolution I’ve been though (and continue to go through). Rewind 10 plus years and you’ll find a woman with a great deal of potential, in a great deal of pain. I enjoyed abusing cigarettes, alcohol and marijuana. Sex was a way for me to fill the deep dark void I was ignoring. I spent many years longing for a meaningful relationship with my father and I looked for love and affection in many (often wrong) places. I carried so much baggage for so long. Resentment, hurt, anger, abandonment… the list goes on.
Thinking back to those ever so turbulent days makes me very proud and even more grateful to be where I am because I’ve worked incredibly hard to get here. I’ll forever be a work in progress and I’m definitely ok with that. I’m really happy to be where I am. I’m lighter and more of me than I’ve ever been. It took a lot of peeling the layers. It took a lot of letting go.
When did you become aware of your womb space?
At different stages I’ve had different levels of awareness. In my teens my womb represented frustration and pain. I often had debilitating cramps. In my early twenties it became the place that grew a baby I wasn’t even close to being ready to have. Now in my 30s, she is a source of power. I have worked on healing and opening up the communication with her. We have the best relationship we’ve ever had.
Would you say you have a relationship with your womb? If she could speak, what would she say?
Absolutely. I find by tuning into my heart and my womb, I feel the most connected. Like any relationship, this is one that has grown over the years. She is now my compass. I’m learning so much from her. She often tells me to listen, to trust and to let go. Reminders of the things I need to pay attention to and work on.
Can you remember a moment where your healing journey began?
The most profound moment I can think of was about 8 years or so ago. I was in a really toxic relationship that I hadn’t been able to let go of. I’d lost myself. I was hardly sleeping or eating, I wasn’t working, I had lost my direction, I’d lost myself. I remember being in the bathroom and looking in the mirror. I literally did not recognize the woman staring back at me. Looking back it felt like a wake up call. I left the relationship shortly after and began to take steps towards healing. I started out with one goal – to be happy. Truly happy, not fleeting happiness but true, peaceful, lasting happiness that comes from within.
What experiences have been the catalysts of change for you? How have you changed?
There have been many. The moment in the mirror, discovering I was pregnant 12 years ago and choosing to terminate the pregnancy. That was a huge catalyst. That was more like a slap in the face or a swift kick in the gut. Making a commitment to myself and choosing to do whatever was necessary to heal (which is not always easy). Making the choice to get up, leave and travel the world. Also deciding to return to Canada and grow roots, that has been a massive catalyst as I had to overcome a whole other set of challenges. Getting married – that’s been a major catalyst too.
I feel like I’ve gone from being asleep… asleep to what was happening within me, disconnected from myself refusing to feel, refusing to let go of what was no longer serving me, to making a conscious choice to do the work and heal. Not just for me , for the women in my family before me and for my children and their children. It has been an amazing and beautiful experience. I say beautiful because even when it’s gory, uncomfortable and down right excruciating, even when I’m reliving the most awful moments in order to make peace and let go, even when I can’t get out of bed, it’s beautiful. Now I know I need to feel, I need to process, it’s part of the work and it’s beautiful work. It’s important work. It’s enabled me to be who I am. It’s allowed me to help others along their journeys. It’s brought me to where I am now; far more happy than I’ve ever been with a lot less baggage. More beautiful and more me than I’ve ever been and that, right there, is beautiful.
What did you do to heal from your abortion and your miscarriage? Do you have any messages for anyone going through something similar?
Let me start off by saying that the two are very different. One was a choice, the other wasn’t. But both are similar in that I experienced grief. The two happened at different times in my life and under different circumstances. When I terminated my pregnancy I felt a lot of anger towards the father. I felt let down and alone. We had had a conversation about whether he would go with me and after giving his word that he would, he disappeared, didn’t show up and completely ignored me afterwards. I had the termination because it wasn’t the right time, nor was it with the right man. I had also had a fragmented relationship with my own father and that was not what I wanted for my child. I still stand by that. In terms of healing I didn’t actually allow myself the time or the space to grieve, let alone heal. I went straight back to work. I did write a poem about it and that offered some sort of therapeutic release but it wasn’t until several years later when I began to explore womb healing that I addressed my emotions.
I miscarried last year in the very very early days. It opened up a whole world of grief. I believe that some of that grief was from the termination I’d had over a decade prior. I felt like I was in some sort of abyss with no way of escaping. In a way, it allowed me to get to know my shadow. I decided to get comfortable. Usually these types of feelings, the grief or anger, the anguish and the pain are feelings we avoid. I chose to explore and get to know them. I probably spent about 6-9 months in that space. I became really comfortable. I got to know where some of my most deep wounds had come from and I made a pact to always choose healing, no matter how hard the work. It was worth it, I emerged from it a lighter, more whole person than I’ve ever been. I had looked some of my darkest demons right in the face and rather than run away, I sat down and had tea with them. They hold a lot less power over you when you’re comfortable with them. I was able to let a lot of baggage go in that space. I’ll be forever grateful to that experience.
For anyone having gone through either experience, the only thing I can say is give yourself the space and the time to feel. Whatever it is that you’re feeling is perfectly fine. Be honest with yourself and do whatever it is that you need to do. Even if that means avoiding the friends that are pregnant or have kids. Spend as much time on yourself as you need to until you begin to feel better or like yourself again. (Every experience is different. Every woman is different, I can only speak to what I have been through.)
What work have you done in order to heal your womb/ body/ self?
I have worked with some amazing healers over the years. I’ve read some brilliant books. I took control of my health (one of the best things I’ve done for myself). Sought help when I needed it, through counselling or coaching, used energy healing, crystal therapies and travel. Acupuncture, reiki, yoga, dance, past life regression, nature, meditation, herbal medicine… I’ve done whatever I’ve been called to do, whatever has spoken to my spirit. I’ve also made sure (in most recent years) to communicate. That’s been really powerful.
How do you allow yourself to feel through experiences? (When a feeling comes up how do you work through it?)
I hold onto the knowing that I am strong enough to face even the scariest of my demons and I dive into my shadow. I always choose healing. There’s been the odd time where I haven’t at first and it’s those times the universe bitch slaps me back to my path.
When something comes up I give myself the time and the space to feel. Even if it means taking some time out. The more you practice feeling the less scary it becomes. It’s often challenging, sometimes daunting and almost always uncomfortable but it’s so worth it. Those spaces are where you get to know the deepest parts of yourself. It’s where you do your best work.
What is your message for anyone reading this in the midst of, or about to enter their healing journey?
Be gentle with yourself. There is no timeline. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s, it’s a waste of time. Love yourself the way you would do your best friend. Trust yourself, you know what’s best for you. You’re more than capable of being your best self, and always, always, ALWAYS listen to your intuition. ALWAYS.
Do you have any messages for anyone reading this post?
We are energy. Beautiful beings of light having a human experience. We are all connected and we are love. We are capable of anything. We are limitless.
I truly believe that we are here to experience and to heal. It’s not always comfortable but that’s where the beauty, the growth and the truth is.
Working through the questions and searching for my most honest answers has been a healing journey in itself. One that I will not forget any time soon.
Looking for support in your womb healing journey? Click on over to the Womb Wellness Program. This is a program that requires you to dig deep, to face what is stored in the womb and work with it to heal, release and receive. The program combines integrative health coaching, deep womb work and Reiki to support your healing. Read more…
Not ready for the full program? Check out Womb Wellness 101. A series of workshops that educate and empower women not only to reconnect with their bodies but learn how to heal themselves naturally. Together, we look at simple ways to make changes in our lives that benefit our health and wellness. From what foods promote womb wellness to how to decrease your PMS symptoms, Womb Wellness 101 will encourage you to take a proactive role in your health. See what WW101 is coming next. Read more…
If you are interested in sharing your Healing Journey, please email info(at)clarekenty.ca with “The Healing Journey” in the subject line and include a little about yourself and your story, or fill out the form below and I will contact you. Please be aware that The Healing Journey series is primarily about womb healing and womb wellness.