The Healing Journey is a series born out of the reality that we all have our own individual path to healing. When we share our journey two things tend to happen, we often find freedom in sharing our stories and we always inspire others. There is power in speaking up and it is time to tap into that power.
The mission of The Healing Journey is to provide a platform for women to connect, inspire one another and empower each other. Together we will stimulate conversation, create awareness, healing and stand together knowing that each and every one of us are unique, gifted and powerful.
Since The Healing Journey project began, I have been honoured to witness brave women go through their own journey as they answer the questions I ask. Each journey is the feature’s own, individual and similar, both in many ways. This journey is one I will remember for a long time to come.
I find myself in awe of those that become their Wild Woman fiercely, with pride and fire. Ellen Morais is one of those women.
Ellen is an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church, a Reiki Master, Magnified Healing Master and a Womb Keeper of the Rite of the Womb. Ellen refers to herself as a spiritual nomad having studied an eclectic mix of spiritual and holistic modalities. Ellen is deeply interested in the Divine Feminine, women’s empowerment, feminine spirituality, and empowering others to do their own sacred work. I’m so excited to introduce you Ellen Morais.
I am Ellen, called Elena by my family. Daughter of Adelaide, daughter of Delfina, daughter of Maria Emilia, who was daughter of many women from the Azorean island of Faial, a principality of Portugal and lands beyond.
I recently attended a workshop on ancestral lines and this was the way we introduced ourselves. It resonated with me on a deep level because as women living in patriarchal culture we so often bend and contort ourselves to fit the molds created for us by men. In America, we take our fathers or husbands last names, a leftover of being made their property at birth or marriage. Where are the women? My story is one of growth, change, redirection and inner reflection, not unlike yours. I am grateful to Clare Kenty for offering this space to share our stories because though similar, each story is unique and each time we share we add another thread to the tapestry of Women’s Wisdom that we are all weaving.
I was a very shy child–I hung in the background, was last to be chosen for kickball but was content to sit on the sidelines and watch. I had a rich imagination and didn’t mind my own company. From a young age, I loved music and used it for healing though I didn’t know that was what I was doing at the time.
Around middle school I developed an interest in psychology. An avid reader already, I started visiting my local library and checking out books by Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung and others. Initially, what drew me was dream work—ironic, since I rarely remembered my dreams, or maybe it was that mystery of them eluding me that attracted me. Later, I branched out into studying psychic development and the occult. Having been raised in a very traditional strict Portuguese-Catholic household where we prayed the rosary every night, I feared that my interests were sinful and dark and eventually burned the deck in our wood stove. Yet the calling persisted, whispering to me quietly.
In high school, I became very depressed. Looking back now, I find myself wondering if it was my resistance to following the path that was calling me—the path that would have lead me to healing and towards finding my true self. Destiny is funny that way, disguising Herself in more palatable ways until we are finally able to look Her in the face and embrace Her. My depression was one such disguise—it led me to write poetry which allowed me to explore the darkest places inside myself. I often wrote about feeling caged or adrift, on the outside looking in, wearing masks or looking in mirrors. Though dark, I am grateful for that gift of poetry because I believe that it served two purposes: it saved me and it beat the path toward looking inward which is becoming my life’s work.
Over the years I did a lot of self-study occasionally picking up books or taking workshops on the occult or holistic topics. I often refer to myself as a spiritual nomad and have studied everything from Wicca and earth based traditions, meditation, yoga, belly dance, chakras, the Wheel of the Year, various religions, ceremony and rituals, to writing and energetic healing modalities such as Reiki, Magnified Healing, sound healing and shamanism.
I participated in a Wiccan circle where I was deep diving into Earth-based and lunar ceremonies, rituals and opening to the Divine Feminine. I was working in an office with a boss who saw my talents and was really challenging me to take on more responsibilities and leadership roles. Our circle also started rotating the planning of our monthly full moon ceremonies and I, again, found myself in a leadership role designing these. One day, while at my office job, I got an idea that was so good I wrote it down. I kept working but another idea came and then another. With each idea building upon the last, they just kept flowing. I recognized that I was “downloading” from Spirit and over the course of a couple of a couple of hours jotted down an entire workshop series and, essentially, a business plan framework. I realized that all my dabbling in different energy modalities and all the holistic study I had done over the years was being combined to create this.
I know now that my mission in this life is to empower women to do this work for themselves through connecting with their spirituality and the sacred feminine. I envision a women’s circle like the red tents of old—safe spaces for women to explore their true selves and reclaim their birth rites as leaders, healers, teachers and sages. For me, part of this work is The Rite of the Womb, the 13th Rite of the Munay-Ki, which I was gifted in April of this year and was blessed to pass on at a workshop with my friend, cousin and holistic partner-in-crime, Cindy Medeiros, in August.
You’re probably wondering, what is this Rite of the Womb thing? It is a shamanic practice from Peru that was transmitted to Marcela Lobos from a lineage of women who have freed themselves from suffering and fear. This Rite clears the suffering, pain and fear that women so often store in their wombs. These toxic emotions can develop into fibroids, tumors or other womb issues. By connecting to the Lineage, we are able to heal psychic wounds, cut energetic cords, and disentangle ourselves from energies that may have been inherited through our ancestors along our matrilineal or mother line. The healing connects us to the generations of ancestors all the way back to the Earth, or Pacha Mama (Earth Mother) as she is called. Through this process we send healing to our ancestors and Pacha Mama then pull healing back all the way through the generations back to ourselves.
In meditation or journey we connect to our own wombs as a portal through the sacral chakra which connects us like an umbilical cord to Pacha Mama through Her sacral chakra. We also establish a connection with our womb center as a wise being to learn what we need to heal ourselves. The process and the transmission of the Rite are simple and beautiful and each participant has a unique experience.
Women who are in close proximity naturally have cycles that align. In ancient times the “moon time” or menstrual period was considered a sacred time; a time of inner reflection, insight and community. And it was during these times that women retreated to their red tents, not because they were “unclean” but because there they were free to share their wisdom, participate in rites of passage and sacred rites. Ancient women recognized the power of the womb, not just as the giver of life, but as the seat of intuition, creativity and a powerful manifestation tool as well as a connection to the Sacred Feminine alive in each of us. Though our modern culture has forgotten these practices, the beauty of women is that we are infinitely connected to this wisdom through our sacral chakras.
Through The Rite of the Womb I have personally found a way to connect with my womanhood and to love and accept all the parts of myself exactly as they are. I am healing my relationship with my mother, which has always been challenging, and connecting to my ancestors through genealogical research and meditation/journey. It works on the physical and energetic planes. I believe that I needed to do this work first and that’s why my workshop didn’t come to fruition. This has helped me to understand that I didn’t miss the boat—it would have been fine for me to bring forth my workshops as they were then but now I’m doing it in a different way and incorporating all the new knowledge I have received. This is what makes me feel it’s my destiny. When something is destined there is nothing we can do to mess it up. If we miss the boat it will come around again, maybe as a train or a bus, a helicopter or a fork in the road.
From the age of 13, when I received my first period, I have had very irregular cycles. My first period lasted 9 months. I didn’t know what was happening to me and why I wouldn’t stop bleeding. I didn’t talk to my mother or anyone about it. I was scared, confused and completely alone. Over the years, I have experienced every type of cycle, even going without any period for about a year. Over the past year I have experienced extremely heavy periods where I was actually leaking through my clothes on a regular basis. Needless to say, I hated my period, saw it as a “curse” and often had thoughts like “I hate being a girl/woman,” “I wish I was a man,” or “men have it so easy.” Through the Rite of the Womb, I am healing this dysfunction.
Immediately after the workshop where I received it, I went to the bathroom before beginning the long journey home and found that I had been visited. This was even though I had just finished my period a week before. It lasted for two weeks, was extremely heavy and I passed a lot of large clots. The same happened for my next two periods; however, I noticed that my attitude towards my period began to shift. As part of the Rite of the Womb, we do what is called “nurturing the Rite,” this process involves collecting some menstrual fluid and giving it to the Earth to strengthen our connection to the Lineage. While some women may find this gross, I was surprised that I didn’t. It is a natural process and we shouldn’t be so severed from our bodies’ natural processes.
Nurturing my Rite helped to open me up to healing. My later periods were shorter, less heavy and contained fewer and smaller clots. I believe this is all a result of the healing womb work that I am doing. Another thing that happened to me was a flow–no pun intended but so fitting—of womb resources. I found myself just stumbling on information online—everything from Facebook groups like Clare Kenty’s wonderful Womb Wellness 101 to web pages like The Way of the Womb and YouTube channels and Podcasts about women’s sexual health and womb work. Clearing out my womb has opened a gateway for information to pour in and I am bombarded with healing tools everywhere I look.
It was after receiving the Rite of the Womb and while planning my first Rite of the Womb workshop that Clare invited me to do this interview and someone else invited me to participate in their group. I was so honored but immediately heard that pesky voice in my head asking, “why you?” “what do you know?” “you’re not at that level.” I felt that maybe sharing my experience might help someone else who is just starting out and also struggling with accepting their path. When I spoke to Clare on the phone and pitched my idea she was very accepting of me shaping it however it felt right but also said more than once “You are NOT just starting out.” I want to thank her for that because it really boosted my confidence. I am learning to follow my intuition, receiving the courage to say YES to new opportunities and exploring a change in my major to anthropology followed by a master’s in holistic leadership, as well as beginning to create and run my own workshops to share what I have learned with other women.
Women’s circles have given me the love and support that I craved and lacked growing up, as well as a safe space for exploring my inner dark places. In a sense, a circle is like a womb, in its circular shape but also in its strength. Just as timeless structures exist, communities of women have been building, supporting and holding the weight of the world for centuries. We gather in circles–not pyramids–where we are all connected without beginning or end and where we are all equal. We hold space for our sisters and in lending them our strength become living bridges for our sisters to work through their challenges, cross over and find themselves. Like forests of trees women are connected through our root systems. We are the nurturers, the fierce jaguars and lionesses defending not just our young—but all the young.
The pendulum is swinging and the chaos that we are currently witnessing in the world is the patriarchy throwing a temper tantrum, grasping to retain power as it senses it slipping through its fingers. Our womb wisdom is stirring; sisterhood circles and modern red tents are springing up all around us. Politics are shifting towards the environment, education, equal pay, abortion, LGBTQ2 rites—all of which are feminine issues.
The Sacred Feminine is calling us to Her to serve as the warriors who will not stand for injustice. She is calling the Wisdom Keepers to heal and teach and help spread Her message of love, nurturing and peace but it will not come without a fight. The more we heal and the more we reach out and prop each other up, the stronger we are and the better our world becomes. By connecting to our wombs and setting the intention to use them in the nurturing way they are designed for, we awaken a powerful tool for manifestation, creativity and wisdom. By healing ourselves first we honor the Divine within us and become empowered to heal the world and restore equilibrium. I still struggle with the fear of not being enough but am learning that the hundred foot journey begins not with a single step but with the decision to take the journey.
by Ellen Morais 9/24/17
I am Ellen,
called Elena by my family,
daughter of Adelaide,
daughter of Delfina,
daughter of Maria Emilia,
who was daughter of many women from the island of Faial, Azores
and places beyond.
Their blood runs through my veins
their hopes and dreams carried through me
as well as the joys and pains of all women through history,
also are mine.
Each one woven as different colored thread
into the tapestry that is me.
I hear their songs in the wind
and know their sadness in my tears.
It is their courage and determination
that propels my steps–
their nurturing in my hips and belly.
Our sacral centers like umbilical cords
connecting us to each other
and to the Divine Mother,
radiating a fierce love into my heart
like a lioness on the defensive.
Their strength is in my stillness
and in my silence,
but Her call to battle is bubbling in my throat
with a wildness that won’t be contained.
It is Her call that guides me
moving inward to find Her
For She is the Divine spark that gave me life
and I am a sacred manifestation of Her,
together we are unstoppable.
So I’m sharpening my blades,
putting on my war paint
and calling every woman to do the same.
Listen for the war drums
for we are approaching.
With children nursing at our breasts,
and careers and husbands balancing on our backs
we will take you.
So get ready.
Ellen, thank you for your words, your images, your story and for sharing your voice with us. Your journey is a phenomenal one. I am in awe and bow to the Wild Woman in you.
Want to connect with Ellen Morais?
If you’d like to know more about Ellen Morais and her work, connect with her via email.
Join us for the next Womb Wellness 101 workshop on November 4th, 2017!
In this workshop, co facilitated by Clare Kenty and Vocal Sound Healer Deborah Brodey, we will explore the power of sound through your own voice as a resonator to connect with your sacred womb and your power.
Come and play with sound practices for healing, activating and honouring our wombs in a sacred circle of sisterhood and on a full moon no less!
Saturday November 4th, 2017. 10am – 1pm.
703 Bloor St West, Toronto
Womb Wellness Program
Looking for support in your womb healing journey? Click on over to the Womb Wellness Program. This is a program that requires you to dig deep, to face what is stored in the womb and work with it to heal, release and receive. The program combines integrative health coaching, deep womb work and Reiki to support your healing. Read more…
Want to share your Healing Journey?
If you are interested in sharing your Healing Journey along with Cue Kirk and other powerful Goddesses, please email info(at)clarekenty.ca with “The Healing Journey” in the subject line and include a little about yourself and your story, or fill out the form below and I will contact you. Please be aware that The Healing Journey series is primarily about womb healing and womb wellness.