It is a New Year, we are in the thick of winter. This season ushers us to go within and reflect. Tis the season of the shadow, the season of darkness and there is so much to learn here.
As the wild woman within me continues to prise me open so I can birth myself into my womanhood, the shadow goddesses bring forth their lessons.
Shadow Goddesses are the goddesses of the dark. They represent our own shadow and the shadow of the collective. The shadow goddesses take us to the places within ourselves we’d rather not go. Deep, deep within where we keep our fears, our desires, our subconscious, our traumas and our exquisite power.
The shadow goddesses show us the pieces of ourselves that create destruction in our lives. The Shadow Goddesses destroy.
Throughout history these magnificent and powerful shadow aspects of the divine feminine have been vilified, feared and persecuted. We have been conditioned to see them as evil.
They are not evil. These goddesses show us the part of the whole that is painful. They teach us that the dark is to be honoured just as much as the light. Shadow Goddesses teach us that only in death can we be reborn.
Kali and Lilith have shown themselves to me a lot recently. As I prepare myself for the year ahead, I ask to be shown what no longer serves and what holds me back from being my most potent and powerful self, the goddesses appear to show me.
I plummet. Deep down within myself, to the anger (I thought I’d released), the victimization (I swore I no longer practiced), the chaotic and reactionary maiden (I witnessed her death last year, I thought). As I write these words, I have been on what feels like a rollercoaster of ego and my need for control. I have witnessed where I give my power away.
The Shadow Goddesses are showing me what needs to die in order for me to be reborn in my divine power and I (only now, a week into this conscious, sacred practice) see that the only way I can get through this is to surrender to my death. To resist only creates more suffering.
Lilith, a goddess of power, wholeness, emotion, sensuality and conviction. She stands in her complete truth, in her light and her dark, in her conscious and unconscious. Lilith does not hide, she is sexuality and pleasure, authenticity and fearlessness.
Lilith refuses to bow or lay down for the patriarchy.
Lilith confronts my conditioning. She questions why I feel like I can not present my whole self to the world. This shadow goddess encourages me, pushes me even to explore my whole self, my sexuality as an empowered woman. She highlights what is suppressive, detrimental and unequal in society and it’s roles.
Lilith is pushing me into my power and even though every fibre of my old self is screaming, resisting and fighting to stay, I have to surrender. For my own evolution and transformation, I have to die.
Kali is fear and death. She is creation, preservation and destruction. Kali destroys to recreate, she is the ultimate transformation. This phenomenal shadow goddess is free flowing blood, she is uncontrollable.
Kali is dragging my ego to it’s death (totally my ego’s feelings and not necessarily my own) so it can transform and be reborn. She lovingly ushers me to surrender, no mater how much I resist.
Kali asks me about my fears, my deep unconscious fears. She guides me to see them, to name them, to witness them. Then she guides me to take my power back.
Once again, I am guided to surrender and to die. To consciously release and physically shed the shame and fear, feelings of being unsafe in the world, of persecution. The past’s residue of having our powers stripped repeatedly, fear of being shunned, vilified, ostracized, burned, shackled, punished and forced to suffer.
This work we are being called to do is not only for this realm, not only for this lifetime.
We are being called to do the healing for ourselves, our ancestors, our collective and our world. There are many reasons this is such heavy and sometimes painful work.
And so, with love, honour and trust, I surrender.
For the highest good of myself, for my divine wholeness, my magnificence and power, and the highest good of all.
I surrender to the Shadow Goddesses and my death.
So I can witness my rebirth.